A New Age Rage called AT

It has become a new rage to buy and stock gold every year in the name of Akshaya Tritiya, despite the escalating prices of yellow metal, thereby distending the coffers of jewellers. Almost all banks, jewellery outlets and Govt organisations such as MMTC sell gold coins & bars on advance bookings! The cartel may even push for a Govt holiday on AT - who knows?!!
What is the significance of AT? Some say it is on this day that Krishna gave Draupadi the Akshaya Paathram that can serve food or oodles of people. This day also marks Parasurama Jayanti – appearance of Lord Vishnu’s 6th incarnation. Most of them say its on this day that Adi Sankara, as an young boy, sang Kanakadhara Stotram and banished poverty from a poor Brahmin household.
Legend goes thus: Young Sankara during his routine bhikshatana visited the house of a poor Brahmin lady, who had nothing in the house to offer. Upset and worried, she searched for something to offer Sankara and found a Nellikayi (amla fruit) and offered in the bowl of Sankara. Moved at the sight of poverty, the sage in an extempore way composed 22 hymns praising Goddess Lakshmi (the bestower of wealth) and prayed Her to drive away the Brahmin lady’s poverty. Appeased, Goddess Lakshmi showered instantly golden rain (hence the name, kanaka dhara) of Amla fruits.
Let us look at it this way: Akshaya means never-diminishing, inexhaustible, unlimited, non-stop. The Brahmin lady was blessed with fortune because she GAVE whatever she had. Draupadi was blessed with akshaya paathram because she PARTOOK whatever food she had with others.
That means, we can gain something only if we are ready to OFFER the needy something. Instead of hoarding gold coins every year and standing in serpentine queues, I feel it is more rational to spend this day offering some help for the poor and needy. Remember, Nara Seva, Narayana Seva.

A Letter to the TN CEO

If a common man has to write a letter to the TN Chief Electoral Commissioner, this is how it would be. A wild imagination!

Dear Mr Praveen Kumar,

As citizens of Tamil Nadu, we were (are) expecting the Assembly Elections with great eagerness and when both the Dravidian parties of the state released their manifestos, our joy knew no bounds and have surpassed expectations. But alas, it's with great sadness I'm telling this, you and your men are depriving us of all the bonanzas that we will be getting this time. Our wallets and physique have attained Size '0' - thanks to food inflation, soaring fuel prices, et al.

But, we were elated to see the promises by both the parties. If one promised a grinder/mixie, the other was ready to dole out a washing machine and fan. We already have a Colour TV set sitting pretty on an attic in most of the homes (that's another thing, anyway). See, what and all we will get - Fan, wet grinder, mixie, washing machine, education loan waiver, laptops, free rice, free power supply, free cable connections, gift voucher of 4 gm gold (imagine, we can't afford that shiny yellow metal these days, Mr CEO).

We were on cloud 9 and most of us were planning to give our daughters in marriage after the Election (as we would garner most of these items before polls and save it for them). But Mr CEO, you have thrown a spoke in to the wheels of our hopes, with all your video surveillance teams (Fie on technology!), etc.

Our sincere request: either be lenient towards these parties (after all what is Election without money distribution and dhamaka?) or sponsor our daughters' wedding expenses!

'Jaya' Berigai kottada....

All you upper caste jackals out there celebrating the arrest of Spectrum Raja and forwarding SMSs badmouthing the man and his party, hang your heads on shame for you have betrayed the modern-day King Mahabali of Tamil Nadu, Mr Andimuthu Raja.
Those wondering adding vowels to your excalmations like 'Raja o, Mahabali o,' Yes, see MK's speech today in which he has likened Raja to the great Raja Mahabali. What wrong did Raja do? Just because he helped mobile phone facilities reach the poor, he is suffering in jail. Just because he favoured the not-so-money-minting realty-backed firms Swan Telecom and Uninor to help them grow in their new venture without expecting an iota of commission from them, he suffers in jail. Just because he made available the pleasure of telephony services to all the Dalits in the country, he is suffering in jail. Just because he hails from the downtrodden community, he is now suffering in jail due to the upper caste politics.
Sollunga yejaman solunga, indha paapara pasangale ippadi thaan!

But why stop with Mahabali alone? U can take oodles of mythical references like these:

• The same people demonised King Ravana (because he is of Kshatriya caste) who saved Sita from that 'parpana' doubting Thomas are now back taking their vengeance on Raja who provided mobile services to Dalits by favouring not-so-thriving- companies.
• And you can also compare Raja to Jesus Christ (maybe, you can get the sypathy and support of minority community who knows!). Like how He suffered whiplashes for His people, Raja is suffering in jail for making mobiles affordable to the poor.
• "Pittukku mann sumandhaan paramasivan, indru cellukku punn sumakkirar engal Dravida Chudar".
  But one thing, whether it's reference to Vamana or Mahabali, DMK is today a Trivikrama with its presence in almost every field.

New Year Gifts

As we enter a new year filled with optimistic hopes and ambitions and all those never-to-be-implemented resolutions, thought I should gift people who made 2010 unforgettable. So here goes a list of personalities and the gifts dat I wish 2 give 'em. And the topper is, who else than our own Dravida Sudar, A Raja..

A Raja - Hi-funda 3g-enabled mobile phone

Niira Radia - again a mobile phone with anti-tapping software

Dr Manmohan Singh - Innocenti Ignoranti mask

Karunanidhi - zandu balm thalai vali neekum balm (poor old man, entangled between all his sons and daughter and grand nephews)

Ratan Tata - a black suit! (u know wat i mean if u hav listened to the Radiagate conversation)

Barack Obama - a mouthguard (the O man hurt his mouth in a basket ball match and wasn't even able to pronounce 'superfluous'. With this mouthguard, 'YES, YOU CAN')

Jairam Ramesh - DVDs of comedian Vadivelu (to come out with new statements to tickle the funny bone of citizens)

Rahul Gandhi - a 'dabba' of saffron (bhai saab, saffron is not dat dangerous)

Director Shankar - kayakalpam (in his tireless effort to show a 60-plus man young on screen, poor guy, he seems very aged)

Mani Ratnam - books on 108 Upanishads (u can make a film based on these also) plus a bonus - photo profile of leading actressess in Bollywood, Kollywood, tollywood, firewood, etc (U seem to know only the Ice Queen, but please saab mudke toh zara dekho naa kitni actressess hain jo 'acting' jaante hain!!)

Shishir Kunder (Farah khan's hubby) - a month-long vacation with Baadshah SRK (to make him realise "u can't try a satire on a man whom u have never met!")

and....

.......

......

......

.....

To my own self - a box of cottonwool (to avoid all the muft gyaan & gibberish talk u-know-who- give me)

to my wonderful husband - a hi-power hearing enhancer

When Gayathri Married Suganth (WGMS)

Back from a Sabbath. But this post is not a travelogue. Just ramblings of a married woman who went to her in-laws' place and got earful 'muft gyaan' - which almost remains the same despite of how old you get and I assume all married women go thru this gibberish!

For those who are familiar wid WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, pls read on...

I hate that when our in-laws say u have lost weight despite seeing ur tummy. I hate that your folks say u have become darker when that is ur original color (Come on, u din give me a S. Indian version of Duggu sans 6 fingers in marriage to me). I hate that people can mollycoddle a 30-yr old, irrresponsible, slack son and cannot even consider a slogging-@-home-and-office 25-yr old d-i-l. I hate that the oldies there give 'muft gyaan' on hommade cooking when they themselves use all kinda paste/mix/powders from Reliance Fresh's shelves. I hate that it takes you an hour and a half to taste the very mediocre recipes (sorry, but dats d truth, ya kno?) doled out by your folks and give your esteemed opinion about them (but gobble new/delicious ones doled out by me widout uttering a word). i hate that after all these days I've spent with u, I am still being treated as a doormat. But I love that my son (u gave me him, dats d only reason i'm silent wid u people) is the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.

THE ORIGINAL DIALOGUE IN WHMS

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love when you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I've spent the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.

'Punch'athantiram

This is not a reproduction of that original lyrics wid Ramya Krishnan gyrating her hips. This is about Dravida Sudar Spectrum Raja & his chief... An imaginary duet (no, don't imagine dirty things!) between the duo.

Movie: Thollaipesi

Song: Bhajan bhajan

Singers: Raja, Karunanidhi

Chorus singers: Lady Fruitlanguage, Raoul (a) Rahul, and all Kazhaga udanpirappus

Chorus: umba umba umba...

um mere jaan mere jaan sunday hey sunday (3)

MK: vai raaja vai un kaiezhuthai vai

sei raaja sei nee rajinaama sei

Tenders ellam poi poi idhil paisa mattum mei mei

Chorus: bajan bajan padhavi bajan sei bajan bajan

bajan bajan spectrum bajan sei bajan bajan

Raja: nama nama nama nama nama namannu irukkudhey

1g 2g 3g ... 3g oozhal kolludhey

kodhi kodhi kodhi... kodhiyena kodhikkum ratham kodhikkudhey

kizhi kizhi kizhi..... media ennai kizhikkudhey

aiyayo padhavi maelae aasai ennai thuvaikkudhey

achacho en mugathil vekkam kooda maraiyudhey
MK: 2G um 3G um

spectrumkuLLae koodudhal poalae

1.76 latcha kodiyai suruttuvom oru poarvaikkuLLae
Chorus: bajan bajan padhavi bajan sei bajan bajan

bajan bajan spectrum bajan sei bajan bajan

Marriage matter

Some things never change - amma saapadu, hero worship in India, dog's tail... Add men also in the list. Yes, I tryd 2 keep my cool today morning and be all smiles at watever goof-ups my man makes since it is hubby's birthday today. But i propose, God dispose. He thot that will be so un-gayathri-ish, it seems. Hubby scores well in office tasks (read cinema reviews. Wake him up in sleep and ask him about Audrey Hepburn/Ms plastic Rai. Wiki will be put to shame!) but in simple household tasks he fails. Like these:
Me: (trying to sound romantic and patting hubby's shoulder) Daaaahling, Happy B'day. Mwah!
H: he he, thank u babe... Ghorrrrrr (turns the other side and snores).
First disappointment in the morning.

Me: So what color shirt did u get? show me na? wat sweet do I prepare?
H: Nothing (for both the questions)

Me: (in a happier tone) Mani, my story is the lead tomorrow da.
H: (in a not-so-interested tone) oh. can u pls uncork the pickle dabba?
Ugh, useless :(
Household task
Me: Pls turn the washing machine to drain mode and remember to close the bathroom door. U got it?
H: Ya ya. I understood.
After a while he yells out that the bedroom is fulla water and blames me that I wuda done something. Panicked, I go and find out that he din close the door and let the drain water flow into the room. That's the end of it. All hell broke loose and I start yelling. Hubby cooly says - Diwali mudinja apromum namma veetla pattasu vedikaradhe! Oh, maybe naan thiri (pun on my name Gayathri) a killi potuteno?!
Called my friend to lament but she was lamenting to me... I think marriage is an EVIL NECESSITY (for all the women and for some men). Won't they change? what are these creatures' heads wired into?!