Songs of 2011

With 2011 drawing to a close, lets see what songs our newsmakers had in mind - as usual a satirical imagination ;)

Anna Hazare: moondrezhuthil en moochu irukkum, adhu mudindha pinnalum pechirukum
A Raja: Started the year with 'Raajathi raajan inda raja' and ends with 'no money, no kani'. (poor man, No bail also)
M Karunanidhi: Started the year with 'varudhu varudhu election varudhu'; defeated and after seeing his daughter's arrest & bail now singing - vandhaal mahalakshmiye
Jayalalithaa: Emerged victorious 'Jeya berigai kottada' and now 'ennuyir thozhi keladi seidhi...'
Sasikala: Aappu songu. Y dis kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri akka?
Ambani family: Beginning was a duet 'yeh Antilla hai pyaar ka' and now in a chorus 'hum saath saath hain' (Perfect family photo)
'Mannu'mohan: amma na summa illa da, ava ilanna naane illa da
Rahul 'the Dimpled' Gandy: kehta hai joker saara

P Chidambaram: pesa koodathu verum pechil sugam
Rajinikanth: naan seththu pozhachavan da, yemana parthu sirichavan da

Aish, the Ice Queen: Poovaagi kaayagi kanindha maram ondru.... (sssssshabba, at last!)

Gold, O Go(l)d

Gold....

Hard to get but easy to hold

Furnaced, molten, hammered, minted

Root cause of many a crime in olden days

but now the game-changer of many economies

My Rupee is crumbling and Dollar is paperless

But good god, i have gold!

An ornament of the rich

may someday cause an imposition of cess

for merely uttering the name of this shining, precious, gorgeous metal

Gold!!

-- Lavantika

Poetry (?)

Steve Jobs
An icon of the digital world
Sent to the Recycle Bin (Heaven)

Greekalinga
Borrow as much as you can
Inflate your books
Hide the truth and
Land everyone in dire straits…Greece & Ramalinga Raju’s mantra

Marriage matters

It started a good five years ago - the matrimonial hunt. By the time my mom finished her task (of getting a good & apt son-in-law) and gave in marriage to S, she has become an expert in jaadhaga kattams/nakshatra poruthams, etc while dad has revived his letter writing skills after some 15-odd years!! And, i have honed my skill of satire and commenting on the bunch of photos dat v used 2 receive from the prospective grooms (take this - ivan thaan paiyyana? MK Azhagiri ku jeans pant pottu vitta madhiri irukkan!). And if i used 2 comment on dark-complexoned guys, Appa will be irate (inam inaththodu serum ;) ) and that is enuf 2 start an argument/quarrel.
Cut to 2011 and i could see a repeat of such things here as we are now hunting for a suitable groom for my dear stinking fibre (naathanaar). Yes, she is an IT professional and not wanting to be an exception from 'that' ot, she is keen on getting the hand of only an IT chap! No lecturer/no banker/no nothing! And m-i-l (who was hitherto a non-believer in jaadhagams has turned to be the opposite type) sifts thru the Web sites and profiles and passes her judgement with a click of her tongue and my dear S who does the job of shortlisting is pissed off at the amount of jaadhagams getting rejected in a jiffy without realising his hard work (!). S-i-l is in her own world - ivan comedy piece madhiri irukkan/ aiyaye, reservoir mandaiyan/karuppa irunda paravaila/ ivan yaru paiyyanoda mama va; yennadhu paiyyane ivan thaana (shock!)/etc.... F-i-l, as usual, very non-chalant and cool as a cucumber.
But, contrary to early days, we (the gals side) get a lot of fone calls/emails from the guys' parents and they come first asking for the gal (it was vice-versa few years ago). Hmmm... Yaanaiku oru kaalam vandha poonaikkum oru kaalam varum. Now, S is thinking of adopting a gal child so that he can impose terms & conditions in the future! :-P

Bbhudda hoga Aishwarya/Soundarya ka baap

Attentive following of micro-blogging sites, wide coverage accompanied with (padam- varaindhu-baagam-kurithal type) graphics/illustrations, getting some doc's quote and running an Expertspeak kinda column - a recent example of media frenzy over covering the Tamil star Rajnikanth's health complications.
While a national daily was busy updating its readers by carrying out front pg stories on Rajini's health, its broadsheet (whose contents actually are actually like that of a tabloid) did a papparazzi work on Rana probably will be the next Coolie (Big B-starrer film on the sets of which he met with injuries), will-he or won't-he change his residence/ his residence being renovated, etc... Not to forget our vernaculars who got something to chew after Nithyananda and Kanimozhi-Raja's alleged affair. And yes not to be left behind in the race, womens periodicals too were churning out booklets of recipes meant good for nephrologicaly weak people (kittiney ai gunamaakkum chuttiney vagaigal). Ugh!!! and the pessimist that I'm I dont think media will shut up even if he comes back home. Again they will run around providing tidbits of wat's on his daily menu/diet regimen.
Mediaaaaaaa...... Pls, he might be 'super' only on screen but in hard-hitting reality he is an ordinary mortal with a lung and a pair of kidneys that are vulnerable to infection/ailments. Time to grow up!

Paatukku Paatu

Now that the much-awaited poll results are out, a wild imagination what songs would all the leaders sing. :)
MK in a wheelchair & Dayalu Ammal attending him:
ponnai virumbum bhoomiyile, ennai virumbum oruyire... (Aalayamani Sivaji Ganesan Saroja Devi madhiriye irukkunga annooov!)
Rajathi to MK:
Sumaithaangii saaindhaal :( :( :(
A Raja:
no money, no kani, no money no kani da...
Kani:
Ennirandu padhinaaru kambiiiiii
Arcot Veersamy:
minsaaram en meedhu paayigindrathey..
KD Bros + Saxena:
Kaagidha odam kadal alai mele povadhu pole moovarum povom
Azhagiri & Stalin:
Muthuku muthaaga sothukku sothaaga annan thambi pirandhu vandhom onnukul onnaga; kaniyaale pogaporom mannodu mannaga
Amma (thanking A Raja):
vetri meedhu vetri vandhu enai serum, adhai vaangi thanda perumai ellam unnai serum.
Amma:
Sri ranga ranganathanin paadham vandanam seiyyadi...
KV Thangkabalu:
Satti suttadhada kai vittadhada, buddhi kettadhada.... / Naan oru rasi illa raja
Vadivelu:
enai kaanavellaiye netrodu, engum thedi parkiren kaatrodu, ini en kaiyyile thiruvodu

A New Age Rage called AT

It has become a new rage to buy and stock gold every year in the name of Akshaya Tritiya, despite the escalating prices of yellow metal, thereby distending the coffers of jewellers. Almost all banks, jewellery outlets and Govt organisations such as MMTC sell gold coins & bars on advance bookings! The cartel may even push for a Govt holiday on AT - who knows?!!
What is the significance of AT? Some say it is on this day that Krishna gave Draupadi the Akshaya Paathram that can serve food or oodles of people. This day also marks Parasurama Jayanti – appearance of Lord Vishnu’s 6th incarnation. Most of them say its on this day that Adi Sankara, as an young boy, sang Kanakadhara Stotram and banished poverty from a poor Brahmin household.
Legend goes thus: Young Sankara during his routine bhikshatana visited the house of a poor Brahmin lady, who had nothing in the house to offer. Upset and worried, she searched for something to offer Sankara and found a Nellikayi (amla fruit) and offered in the bowl of Sankara. Moved at the sight of poverty, the sage in an extempore way composed 22 hymns praising Goddess Lakshmi (the bestower of wealth) and prayed Her to drive away the Brahmin lady’s poverty. Appeased, Goddess Lakshmi showered instantly golden rain (hence the name, kanaka dhara) of Amla fruits.
Let us look at it this way: Akshaya means never-diminishing, inexhaustible, unlimited, non-stop. The Brahmin lady was blessed with fortune because she GAVE whatever she had. Draupadi was blessed with akshaya paathram because she PARTOOK whatever food she had with others.
That means, we can gain something only if we are ready to OFFER the needy something. Instead of hoarding gold coins every year and standing in serpentine queues, I feel it is more rational to spend this day offering some help for the poor and needy. Remember, Nara Seva, Narayana Seva.

A Letter to the TN CEO

If a common man has to write a letter to the TN Chief Electoral Commissioner, this is how it would be. A wild imagination!

Dear Mr Praveen Kumar,

As citizens of Tamil Nadu, we were (are) expecting the Assembly Elections with great eagerness and when both the Dravidian parties of the state released their manifestos, our joy knew no bounds and have surpassed expectations. But alas, it's with great sadness I'm telling this, you and your men are depriving us of all the bonanzas that we will be getting this time. Our wallets and physique have attained Size '0' - thanks to food inflation, soaring fuel prices, et al.

But, we were elated to see the promises by both the parties. If one promised a grinder/mixie, the other was ready to dole out a washing machine and fan. We already have a Colour TV set sitting pretty on an attic in most of the homes (that's another thing, anyway). See, what and all we will get - Fan, wet grinder, mixie, washing machine, education loan waiver, laptops, free rice, free power supply, free cable connections, gift voucher of 4 gm gold (imagine, we can't afford that shiny yellow metal these days, Mr CEO).

We were on cloud 9 and most of us were planning to give our daughters in marriage after the Election (as we would garner most of these items before polls and save it for them). But Mr CEO, you have thrown a spoke in to the wheels of our hopes, with all your video surveillance teams (Fie on technology!), etc.

Our sincere request: either be lenient towards these parties (after all what is Election without money distribution and dhamaka?) or sponsor our daughters' wedding expenses!

'Jaya' Berigai kottada....

All you upper caste jackals out there celebrating the arrest of Spectrum Raja and forwarding SMSs badmouthing the man and his party, hang your heads on shame for you have betrayed the modern-day King Mahabali of Tamil Nadu, Mr Andimuthu Raja.
Those wondering adding vowels to your excalmations like 'Raja o, Mahabali o,' Yes, see MK's speech today in which he has likened Raja to the great Raja Mahabali. What wrong did Raja do? Just because he helped mobile phone facilities reach the poor, he is suffering in jail. Just because he favoured the not-so-money-minting realty-backed firms Swan Telecom and Uninor to help them grow in their new venture without expecting an iota of commission from them, he suffers in jail. Just because he made available the pleasure of telephony services to all the Dalits in the country, he is suffering in jail. Just because he hails from the downtrodden community, he is now suffering in jail due to the upper caste politics.
Sollunga yejaman solunga, indha paapara pasangale ippadi thaan!

But why stop with Mahabali alone? U can take oodles of mythical references like these:

• The same people demonised King Ravana (because he is of Kshatriya caste) who saved Sita from that 'parpana' doubting Thomas are now back taking their vengeance on Raja who provided mobile services to Dalits by favouring not-so-thriving- companies.
• And you can also compare Raja to Jesus Christ (maybe, you can get the sypathy and support of minority community who knows!). Like how He suffered whiplashes for His people, Raja is suffering in jail for making mobiles affordable to the poor.
• "Pittukku mann sumandhaan paramasivan, indru cellukku punn sumakkirar engal Dravida Chudar".
  But one thing, whether it's reference to Vamana or Mahabali, DMK is today a Trivikrama with its presence in almost every field.