Whither Indian erotica?

Coming from the land of Kamasutra, it is but natural for me to think and wail about the present state of erotic literature. You may look at askance as u read but no one can help it and biological urges cannot be suppressed for a long time though many people in this complacent society act as Puritans and secretly enjoy titillating songs/photos/Websites.

History, esply Indian history, is replete with evidence of erotica in temple architecture or literature as in Khajuraho sculptures, Kamasutra, narrative Jain literature in Prakriti language full of eroticism, Sangam Tamil poetry, Rasakreeda (erotic foreplays between Krishna and Gopikas) and even Soundarya Lahiri composed by the great saint Adi Sankara where he describes and praises the fullness of Devi’s breasts. But all these sensual contents are in the past, what about now?

When it comes to painting the canvas with erotica, late MF Hussain, Jogen Choudhary and more recently Open Magazine’s Mihir Shrivastava (who uses nude models in his works) come into the picture. But what about those who do not know to appreciate this genre and view it only as naked paintings (not knowing the difference between nude and naked)? You say, books & cinema? Ugh, erotic literature is yet to come of age here. In books/novels, especially in Tamil, I can hardly find any. Though the mavericks of Tami fiction, Thi. Janakiraman and Ku. Pa. Rajagopalan, had in their works extra-marital affairs in the under current they never crossed their limit and described in detail. Even in his master-piece ‘Amma Vandhaal’ Thi Ja, although speaks of the mother’s affair with husband’s friend, does not delves deeper into (no pun intended) the description of the act as such! Sujatha, although he is known for his sci-fi novellas and his simple in style modern day prose, had a breast- fetish (like our director Gautham Menon’s foot-fetish. Kindly observe Ivan Yaaro, Vaseegara songs from Minnale, Omana Penne in VTV and the posters of Ek Deewana Thaa, then you’ll know wat I mean!). Sujatha’s penchant for his leading ladies’ globes can be found from the following passages : Priya (aval parandha maarbin mel irandu per sadhurangame vilayadalam pol irundadhu), Meghangalai thurathinavan (rathnavin meth endra andha edathil mugam pudhaikka vendum endrirundhadhu), En iniya endhira (pointing out at bra - enaku indha ullani elaam anindhu pazhakam illai. Mano- naan eppedho adhai parthu vittaen), Meendum Jeeno (kuzhandai pirandhal lactation ku payanpadum idhanaal veru evvalavu payangal irukkiradhu - the dog wondering so), etc.

I’m not talking about the Kamasutra types either, I know if anyone dares try the postures, chances are there the very next day he/she might be rushed to an Ortho. Only a gymnast can try those postures, it seems to me. And  I’m not talking about the Kumudam sketches either where heavy dosages of cleavage & hips are prescribed. You say our national  tabloid – the Slimes of India, huh? I don’t think any sexually-active man will ever look at those bottoms and breasts and the gossips on a daily basis. Maybe, erectile dysfunction cases can look thru the tabloid at those plastic jobs and artificial melons and salivate while marvelling at the handiwork of plastic surgeons. Come on, even Rasputin’s 13-inch long instrument needed some rest, I ‘ve read. (Yes, tks to Appa’s leniency and freedom given to me). Again I’m talking about sensualism and not porn-selling.

And in cinema, Bollywood/Kollywood or any other wood displays everything threadbare instead of partially-hiding, adding some sensualism and celebrating the peaks and curves. All those white saris drenched in rain, navel displays, the great fall of pallu with a tight blouse showing the padded up teapot lids and wonderful cinematography&editing zooming in and out continually at women’s breasts/hips causing irritation to your eyes…… Its disgusting! Its disgusting to watch so many botoxed beauties with a ‘velakennai kudicha’ look failing to glorify their mysterious curvaceous bodies thus killing the eroticism on silver screen. It just celebrates rape and vulgarity.

Why cant the ‘kalai thaagam pidichcha’ Indian artists, taking a cue from their Japanese counterparts, do something like Furry Dojinshi or animated Manga movies/comics? It’s time to rekindle and wake up the almost-dead senses!!

Cine ramblings

First things first - Apologies for being spaced out for such a lonnnnnnng time w/o posting anything. I'm not a filmy person (like my Director-aspirant hubby); I'm more into music (esply Carnatic, Hindustani and Raja sir, of course :) ). Earlier, I used to watch classical, offbeat movies but ot so often, but after marraige I've somehow taken an interest to movies, gossips, Pg 3 kinda things and all that (Talk about sagavaasa dosham, hmmm). One of my colleagues jokingly asked me thus - 'So if S saar makes a movie u can be in charge of the Music dept and we can see ur name in the screen!' Though i seriously doubt if 'S saar' would entrust me wid dat job. Well, a keen observer of people & things around (It pays to be a caricaturist, man) I have observed some things (some stupid also) in films which I'd lilke to pour down....
Yaen, yaen, yaen:
1. Despite giving their best efforts (that too sans pancakes mostly), Director Bala's heroines will only ee ottufy after the movie? Eg: Sangeetha, Laila in Pithamagan; wonderful Pooja in Naan Kadavul. Where are the gals now? Same goes wid Kamal Saar's (my friend AL, I affixed saar to ur hero :) ) heroines also - Abirami in Virumaandi; Kasturi, suganya in Indian, kiran in Anbe Sivam (avanga nadicha padam adhu onnu thaan, mathadhu ellam kaatina padam!)
2. People who applied loads of powder and make-up on Amala Paul's face in MUK completely forgot about her knees? Look at the poster and you will see her in a denim shorts walking wid black knees and elsewhere its all white!! (when I pointed out this, friends said I've a twisted mind, ugh!)
3. Why is it for a K-town hero all the blue skies, white moon and innumerable stars and other mundane things become sooooooooo new only after falling in Lavvv? (hello, unga amma nilava kaati soru ootnadhu ilaya pa?). I called my husband to watch the full moon and i got a sound snore as reply. (Yes, i hear some of u say Befitting. I can read minds, u rascala!)
4. Y is it Suhasini still thinks her husband is the best dir despite churning out a string of flops? for eg, while reacting to some glitches in the rec ently-organised Chennai Film Festival, she stressed dis and said: Adhu maniratnam aagave irundaalum kooda.... (Over confidence, odambukku aagadhu madam)
5. Y no one wants to experiment a film with Simbu as the hero deprived of his speech faculty? (Pls some rest for our ears)
6. Y is it people think one has to torture his/her own self (like tonsuring, 6,8 packs, sipping meals, sudden weight gain, bla bla) to achieve acting? I dont think Sivaji did any of these things but still acknowledged as the best actor globally (Vikram pls note this).
7. Y in the name of taking realism cinema and bringing new heroes, every director shatters our dreams? All parattai thalais, dhaadis, beedis, Yikes! (Enga kanavula nalla azhagana heroes vandhu rommmmmba naal aachu :'( )
PS: Yesterday I watched 'The Artist' movie. Marvellous screenplay and acting. And the actress reminded me of Suhasini (with her oval face, irukka-illaiya cheeks and her smile) and when i told dis to my hubby seated next to me, he was ROTFL. Unakku eppadi ipdi thonudhu?! If u watch the movie and heroine, in particular, pls post a comment here....

Songs of 2011

With 2011 drawing to a close, lets see what songs our newsmakers had in mind - as usual a satirical imagination ;)

Anna Hazare: moondrezhuthil en moochu irukkum, adhu mudindha pinnalum pechirukum
A Raja: Started the year with 'Raajathi raajan inda raja' and ends with 'no money, no kani'. (poor man, No bail also)
M Karunanidhi: Started the year with 'varudhu varudhu election varudhu'; defeated and after seeing his daughter's arrest & bail now singing - vandhaal mahalakshmiye
Jayalalithaa: Emerged victorious 'Jeya berigai kottada' and now 'ennuyir thozhi keladi seidhi...'
Sasikala: Aappu songu. Y dis kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri akka?
Ambani family: Beginning was a duet 'yeh Antilla hai pyaar ka' and now in a chorus 'hum saath saath hain' (Perfect family photo)
'Mannu'mohan: amma na summa illa da, ava ilanna naane illa da
Rahul 'the Dimpled' Gandy: kehta hai joker saara

P Chidambaram: pesa koodathu verum pechil sugam
Rajinikanth: naan seththu pozhachavan da, yemana parthu sirichavan da

Aish, the Ice Queen: Poovaagi kaayagi kanindha maram ondru.... (sssssshabba, at last!)

Gold, O Go(l)d

Gold....

Hard to get but easy to hold

Furnaced, molten, hammered, minted

Root cause of many a crime in olden days

but now the game-changer of many economies

My Rupee is crumbling and Dollar is paperless

But good god, i have gold!

An ornament of the rich

may someday cause an imposition of cess

for merely uttering the name of this shining, precious, gorgeous metal

Gold!!

-- Lavantika

Poetry (?)

Steve Jobs
An icon of the digital world
Sent to the Recycle Bin (Heaven)

Greekalinga
Borrow as much as you can
Inflate your books
Hide the truth and
Land everyone in dire straits…Greece & Ramalinga Raju’s mantra

Marriage matters

It started a good five years ago - the matrimonial hunt. By the time my mom finished her task (of getting a good & apt son-in-law) and gave in marriage to S, she has become an expert in jaadhaga kattams/nakshatra poruthams, etc while dad has revived his letter writing skills after some 15-odd years!! And, i have honed my skill of satire and commenting on the bunch of photos dat v used 2 receive from the prospective grooms (take this - ivan thaan paiyyana? MK Azhagiri ku jeans pant pottu vitta madhiri irukkan!). And if i used 2 comment on dark-complexoned guys, Appa will be irate (inam inaththodu serum ;) ) and that is enuf 2 start an argument/quarrel.
Cut to 2011 and i could see a repeat of such things here as we are now hunting for a suitable groom for my dear stinking fibre (naathanaar). Yes, she is an IT professional and not wanting to be an exception from 'that' ot, she is keen on getting the hand of only an IT chap! No lecturer/no banker/no nothing! And m-i-l (who was hitherto a non-believer in jaadhagams has turned to be the opposite type) sifts thru the Web sites and profiles and passes her judgement with a click of her tongue and my dear S who does the job of shortlisting is pissed off at the amount of jaadhagams getting rejected in a jiffy without realising his hard work (!). S-i-l is in her own world - ivan comedy piece madhiri irukkan/ aiyaye, reservoir mandaiyan/karuppa irunda paravaila/ ivan yaru paiyyanoda mama va; yennadhu paiyyane ivan thaana (shock!)/etc.... F-i-l, as usual, very non-chalant and cool as a cucumber.
But, contrary to early days, we (the gals side) get a lot of fone calls/emails from the guys' parents and they come first asking for the gal (it was vice-versa few years ago). Hmmm... Yaanaiku oru kaalam vandha poonaikkum oru kaalam varum. Now, S is thinking of adopting a gal child so that he can impose terms & conditions in the future! :-P

Bbhudda hoga Aishwarya/Soundarya ka baap

Attentive following of micro-blogging sites, wide coverage accompanied with (padam- varaindhu-baagam-kurithal type) graphics/illustrations, getting some doc's quote and running an Expertspeak kinda column - a recent example of media frenzy over covering the Tamil star Rajnikanth's health complications.
While a national daily was busy updating its readers by carrying out front pg stories on Rajini's health, its broadsheet (whose contents actually are actually like that of a tabloid) did a papparazzi work on Rana probably will be the next Coolie (Big B-starrer film on the sets of which he met with injuries), will-he or won't-he change his residence/ his residence being renovated, etc... Not to forget our vernaculars who got something to chew after Nithyananda and Kanimozhi-Raja's alleged affair. And yes not to be left behind in the race, womens periodicals too were churning out booklets of recipes meant good for nephrologicaly weak people (kittiney ai gunamaakkum chuttiney vagaigal). Ugh!!! and the pessimist that I'm I dont think media will shut up even if he comes back home. Again they will run around providing tidbits of wat's on his daily menu/diet regimen.
Mediaaaaaaa...... Pls, he might be 'super' only on screen but in hard-hitting reality he is an ordinary mortal with a lung and a pair of kidneys that are vulnerable to infection/ailments. Time to grow up!