New Year Gifts

As we enter a new year filled with optimistic hopes and ambitions and all those never-to-be-implemented resolutions, thought I should gift people who made 2010 unforgettable. So here goes a list of personalities and the gifts dat I wish 2 give 'em. And the topper is, who else than our own Dravida Sudar, A Raja..

A Raja - Hi-funda 3g-enabled mobile phone

Niira Radia - again a mobile phone with anti-tapping software

Dr Manmohan Singh - Innocenti Ignoranti mask

Karunanidhi - zandu balm thalai vali neekum balm (poor old man, entangled between all his sons and daughter and grand nephews)

Ratan Tata - a black suit! (u know wat i mean if u hav listened to the Radiagate conversation)

Barack Obama - a mouthguard (the O man hurt his mouth in a basket ball match and wasn't even able to pronounce 'superfluous'. With this mouthguard, 'YES, YOU CAN')

Jairam Ramesh - DVDs of comedian Vadivelu (to come out with new statements to tickle the funny bone of citizens)

Rahul Gandhi - a 'dabba' of saffron (bhai saab, saffron is not dat dangerous)

Director Shankar - kayakalpam (in his tireless effort to show a 60-plus man young on screen, poor guy, he seems very aged)

Mani Ratnam - books on 108 Upanishads (u can make a film based on these also) plus a bonus - photo profile of leading actressess in Bollywood, Kollywood, tollywood, firewood, etc (U seem to know only the Ice Queen, but please saab mudke toh zara dekho naa kitni actressess hain jo 'acting' jaante hain!!)

Shishir Kunder (Farah khan's hubby) - a month-long vacation with Baadshah SRK (to make him realise "u can't try a satire on a man whom u have never met!")

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To my own self - a box of cottonwool (to avoid all the muft gyaan & gibberish talk u-know-who- give me)

to my wonderful husband - a hi-power hearing enhancer

When Gayathri Married Suganth (WGMS)

Back from a Sabbath. But this post is not a travelogue. Just ramblings of a married woman who went to her in-laws' place and got earful 'muft gyaan' - which almost remains the same despite of how old you get and I assume all married women go thru this gibberish!

For those who are familiar wid WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, pls read on...

I hate that when our in-laws say u have lost weight despite seeing ur tummy. I hate that your folks say u have become darker when that is ur original color (Come on, u din give me a S. Indian version of Duggu sans 6 fingers in marriage to me). I hate that people can mollycoddle a 30-yr old, irrresponsible, slack son and cannot even consider a slogging-@-home-and-office 25-yr old d-i-l. I hate that the oldies there give 'muft gyaan' on hommade cooking when they themselves use all kinda paste/mix/powders from Reliance Fresh's shelves. I hate that it takes you an hour and a half to taste the very mediocre recipes (sorry, but dats d truth, ya kno?) doled out by your folks and give your esteemed opinion about them (but gobble new/delicious ones doled out by me widout uttering a word). i hate that after all these days I've spent with u, I am still being treated as a doormat. But I love that my son (u gave me him, dats d only reason i'm silent wid u people) is the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.

THE ORIGINAL DIALOGUE IN WHMS

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out, I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich, I love when you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts, I love that after I've spent the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.